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I must be a homophobe, I just don’t feel like one
Within hours of the Coalition for Marriage petition going live online, Guardian journalist Grace Dent had outed the Bishop of Carlisle on Twitter as being a signatory and therefore a ‘homophobe’.
Interesting isn’t it? No debate, no nuance, no agreement to disagree. Oppose the changing of the definition of marriage and ipso facto you hate and fear gays.
Given that I agree with the beliefs of the Coalition for Marriage, I must be a homophobe too, but when I think about my daily life I don’t feel like one. Thinking about it,
I don’t use the term ‘gay’ when I want to say something is bad or rubbish or feminine. Not even ironically.
When I meet an unmarried person I don’t automatically assume that the person is gay and so make their whole existence about their sexual desire.
When I read books from history or read of the deeds of historical figures I don’t assume that everything they wrote had some sexual subtext and everyone they met was a potential partner. I allow for the notion that they might have been about more than sexual impulse.
I don’t go to a church where the minister constantly talks about ‘homosexual sin’ (in fact I go to one where I’ve never heard him mention it). I don’t lie awake for hours at night worrying about what would happen if ‘a gay man came into church’ and I don’t blog about or constantly link to pieces on homosexuality.
And it’s not just me. When I think of my Christian friends the reality is the same. There seems to a be an idea in the press that we obsess about this one issue, but I never see it. In fact, the only time I remember I’m homophobic is when I get reminded of it in the media.
If this sounds like I’m angling for some sort of medal, I only bring it up because of the charge that is constantly leveled at Evangelical Christians; namely that we’re obsessed with what other people get up to in the bedroom. In reality it’s the society we live in that is obsessed by sex.
Consider comedians on Comic Relief joking about George Michael’s proclivities while he chuckles uncomfortably alongside; or panel shows like Would I Lie to You? in which the comedian gets the biggest laugh when he’s talking about the gay guy’s sex life. Booking a homosexual so that the audience can chuckle at how different he is seems to me to humiliate everybody, something like being back at the Victorian freak show.
I’m happy to say I have particular beliefs about marriage. What’s more, in a mature democracy I’m encouraged to voice an opinion about what society views as acceptable. When, as I suspect, Campaign for Marriage fails to persuade the government to preserve the status quo, I’ll carry on as I did before because that’s what Christians (and democrats) do. I’ll recognise the uniqueness of every person and consider their sexuality to be but one dimension of that. I’ll continue to reject prejudice and bullying of homosexuals and will have no hesitation in questioning the integrity of those who wave placards suggesting whom God may or may not hate.
So, I’ll sign the petition and wear the homophobe tag which apparently must go with it.
But maybe those who portray Christians as narrow minded, reactionary, stupid and terrified of gay people will consider Coretta Scott King’s definition of homophobia as,
“bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood.”
Defending one group by dehumanizing and denying the dignity of another group? Isn’t there another ‘H’ word for that?
